he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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