At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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