I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I love black thongs
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
