Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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