Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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