Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize