I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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