NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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