Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
