What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
