my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
