she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
