ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
