you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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