PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
