Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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