It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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