You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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