I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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