I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize