my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
