I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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