I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize