R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
