I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
