He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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