i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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