After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
