You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
