FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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