is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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