I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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