I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
