do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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