They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
