i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
