If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
