You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize