Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want to fling myself into the sun
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
