put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
