explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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