Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants