Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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(210): View more from Texas

A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.

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(419): View more from Ohio

His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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(360): View more from Washington

Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.

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(817): View more from Texas

No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

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(719): View more from Colorado

That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

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(216): View more from Ohio

YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.

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