thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize