for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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