Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
her facebook's as public as her vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
