Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
