So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
