I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
