they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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