just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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