Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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