He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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