When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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