his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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