your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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