How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
