I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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