You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
