i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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