I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
