I wish I only lived at night.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
