yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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