You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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