and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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